the Blind Eye

As I lingered between sleep and awake last night I saw a monster.  It wasn't cute like Cookie Monster.  First it was just one clouded over eye, white and unseeing .  Then I saw the whole monster a scaly and robust brown and it was clutching my heart.
I asked God, "What is that?".
"Self Hate" He said.
"Wherever it holds your heart it blocks the truth from being able to penetrate into that part of your heart."

   The words "You are beautiful Allison" floated back to me, things my mother said over and over when I was a teenager and I never believed.  I would retort, "You don't see me like I really am."  I would listen instead to those who really didn't know me very well, or at all.  Or compare myself to the people I saw around me, measuring myself against them as if they were the rulers to measure how I could or should look.  Later I would struggle to believe my husband when he echoed my Mom's words, "You're beautiful".  Self hate at that time had locked onto the self beauty and body image part of my heart and blocked the truth.  He only let in the hate.

I remember seeing those blind eyes of Self Hate, clouded over.   I realized what I was seeing Hate is blind.  Only Love can see clearly.  Love  sees us as we truly are.  Hate lies, but Love tells the truth.  

So go away big scary monster!

Lord forgive me for ever letting hate take over any part of my heart.  Help me diligently guard my heart with the truth, your loving words of who I really am.

Beloved
Beautiful
Perfect 
Without any stains
Fulfilling who you designed me to be.
Good Mother
Amazing Wife
Cherished Daughter

and so many more,
Proverbs 4;

20My child, pay attention to what I say.

Listen carefully to my words.

21Don’t lose sight of them.

Let them penetrate deep into your heart,

22for they bring life to those who find them,

and healing to their whole body.

23Guard your heart above all else,

for it determines the course of your life

The Pottery sale was a huge success!

 I didn't know on Tuesday, when Jonathan was sick with Bronchitis and I thought I would never get it all together how it was going to pan out.  But God was so faithful to bring what He started in me to completion!

 I sold just over 400 dollars in pottery!  I also made over two hundred dollars for The Village of Hope, Mongu, Zambia.  I sold almost everything, and now my house is clean for the holidays (althought Ted says it looks like we are going to have a booksale in the basement)

.  It was such a blessing to see new and old friends, and neighbors all in my living room!  Plus it was great for the little ones to see a little store happening here, and learn about giving to widows and orphans.  So thank you so much everyone who came.

Christmas Stocking Advent Cards

I've been scheming of a way to link up reading the Christmas Story with activities for my little ones.  So I made my own advent calendar.  I have 25 little stockings (holiday socks) hanging up on the mantle, 

and inside 25 little cards.

  The kids get to take one out each day.  Then we will read each card, and the scripture written on it and do the holiday activity.  The first day as we read about new life;  "The Branch of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations; the Gentiles will hope in him.", we will put fresh greenery around the house (and maybe put up the tree).  On the day we decorate Christmas cookies as we read about how Mary sang, " He has filled the hungry with good things,", and when we read about Mary and Joseph's trip to Bethlehem we will Drive around town to see the Christmas lights.  I did stick a few "Open a Christmas gift"  activities in to make it extra exciting.  I realized last year that books, no matter how much my kids like books, aren't as special on Christmas morning when toys are being opened.  So, I am planning on wrapping 3 books and craft activities and putting them on the bookshelf for these early gifts. 

My hope is that these little holiday activities will be an exciting way to make the gift of Christ real to them.  

So let me share with you my Advent Cards.  This Link leads to all 25, plus 7 blank ones in case you want to write in your own traditions. I didn't number them so that if we miss one no one will cry, but I did start with the prophesies about Jesus in Isaiah and end with the flight to Egypt.   I printed ours out on scrapbook paper that was blank on one side, cut them out, then covered them in contact paper.  Happy Christmas to you!

-Allison

Pottery Sale for the City of Hope

Planning a Holiday sale November 19th to benefit the City of Hope, an orphan home in Zambia.  I have been steadily crafting a collection of pottery to sell.   Here are a few samples;

          A butter dish

 It will be brighter and glossier once it's been fired.

"Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young--a place near your altar, O LORD"- Psalm 83

 A medium sized casserole dish in the "Oaks of Righteousness" theme will be glazed in glossy white.

And a large cake stand.  The spots and rim will be bright red.


Pray all the pieces fire well!
-Allison 

Oaks of Righteousness

God whispered an idea into my head, "Make pottery for Africa".  So I set up the studio in the basement.  I've had 2 days of pottery making for a big pottery sale in November to benefit orphans at the Zambia Project. 

These are the first two pieces are part of a series I am calling The Oaks of Righteousness.  They will each have part of the scripture below carved into them.

Isaiah 61;

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,^a 

2to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor.

4They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generations.

 I'm planning on making a tree stump cakestand to go with the series.
I also made a whimsicle cakestand;

 here's the basement space I've been making into a studio.  The lower shelves are full of older pieces and tiles. Dorathea's sculpture is on the top right hand side.  I think this sale is going to be great for my kids too, Dorathea wants to sell her own sculptures for the orphans. 

 I am making these pieces to bring the Word of God into the small moments of your day, when you are pouring coffee, or slicing bread.  They are meant to be a comfortable reminder of the truth, that you can hold in your hand. 

What's extra cool about them is that as Christmas gifts they will be a gift to orphans as well, with special tags letting the recipent know about the orphan care the proceeds of the pottery goes toward. 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. - James 1:27

I'm a little excited, can you tell?  More pottery to come!

Amanda's Baby Shower

Amanda's Baby Shower, a set on Flickr.

Secret God spaces

Sometimes I get out of my own space to get out of my own head and clean up my mental state by spending time with God.  I have looked for these secret spaces since college.  I found an attic widow's peak on top of my dorm, and studying in Italy found a couple great window balconies, as well as a few prayer rooms along the way set aside for the very purpose of  talking with my beloved.

But can I say that being a Mom and wife that it seems more important, immediate, and so very needed to occasionally run away from home?  The beautiful three I so often pour into often show me I am in need of exorcising personal demons.  So this day I took a ride around the corner to a church with an open door policy for their chapel and hidden garden (God bless them!)

First I planted myself here;

Then I dare to draw a little closer to the alter

And I lay here;

As I unload the heavy to my ultimate Father I shed a few tears too.  Just think someday He will wipe even that one away.  I let go of the baggage of who I thought I was; Angry, empty, sad.  He sees my efforts to love them so much I change into love in the process.  I turn to the face of Jesus, and I give up my ugly view of myself and those I am working to love.   I am given a glimpse of myself through his eyes; Holy Holy Holy am I!  His light shines in me golden.

I hop on my bike and ride home better for my time here.

This song has been in my head.  When I find it at home I laugh as I watch the artist's video and she takes the same ride to a little chapel on her bike.  He truly sees me :)

 http://www.youtube.com/karijobe

A reader is popping up

She wouldn't sit down for my storytimes when Daddy brought her.  And I hosted storytime for 4 libraries for 7 years but couldn't keep her attention like I could the other children.  She constantly lost stickers at preschool for not sitting still for circle time.  

But today she read a whole book, then read two more.  

My daughter is reading to me!!!

Our secret is no secret;  When my husband and I were little we heard a thousand stories through the chests those people who loved us best, our Moms.  

 

Now as parents we get to be the readers of stories with our children's warm chubby bodies leaning against our chests.

We started off when she was a baby pointing out things and the words for her. And then sounding out the letters. And for the last year pausing to let her sound out the word we point to.  She being Dorathea soaked all those words right up like thirsty seedlings soaking up water.  

And then just like my seedlings,  after days and weeks of patiently watering the dormant soil, 

  "Something popped up, just as we had known that it would" quote from-  The Carrot Seed.  

 I took out a level one book from Aunt Kristie and low and behold, our girl is a reader.

In celebration we made a special trip to the library to celebrate with her own library card.

...and tonight we will eat green eggs and ham after she finishes that book.

Here she is with her triumphant first book, funnily reading just like Mommy used to at the library, upside down.

So the sun is out at our house in the form of Mommy and Daddy's praise, We praise her because she doesn't think she is a good reader yet.  But with enough encouraging sunshine shining down and more watering of the words she will.  

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"- Hebrews 11:1