Amanda's Baby Shower

Amanda's Baby Shower, a set on Flickr.

Secret God spaces

Sometimes I get out of my own space to get out of my own head and clean up my mental state by spending time with God.  I have looked for these secret spaces since college.  I found an attic widow's peak on top of my dorm, and studying in Italy found a couple great window balconies, as well as a few prayer rooms along the way set aside for the very purpose of  talking with my beloved.

But can I say that being a Mom and wife that it seems more important, immediate, and so very needed to occasionally run away from home?  The beautiful three I so often pour into often show me I am in need of exorcising personal demons.  So this day I took a ride around the corner to a church with an open door policy for their chapel and hidden garden (God bless them!)

First I planted myself here;

Then I dare to draw a little closer to the alter

And I lay here;

As I unload the heavy to my ultimate Father I shed a few tears too.  Just think someday He will wipe even that one away.  I let go of the baggage of who I thought I was; Angry, empty, sad.  He sees my efforts to love them so much I change into love in the process.  I turn to the face of Jesus, and I give up my ugly view of myself and those I am working to love.   I am given a glimpse of myself through his eyes; Holy Holy Holy am I!  His light shines in me golden.

I hop on my bike and ride home better for my time here.

This song has been in my head.  When I find it at home I laugh as I watch the artist's video and she takes the same ride to a little chapel on her bike.  He truly sees me :)

 http://www.youtube.com/karijobe

A reader is popping up

She wouldn't sit down for my storytimes when Daddy brought her.  And I hosted storytime for 4 libraries for 7 years but couldn't keep her attention like I could the other children.  She constantly lost stickers at preschool for not sitting still for circle time.  

But today she read a whole book, then read two more.  

My daughter is reading to me!!!

Our secret is no secret;  When my husband and I were little we heard a thousand stories through the chests those people who loved us best, our Moms.  

 

Now as parents we get to be the readers of stories with our children's warm chubby bodies leaning against our chests.

We started off when she was a baby pointing out things and the words for her. And then sounding out the letters. And for the last year pausing to let her sound out the word we point to.  She being Dorathea soaked all those words right up like thirsty seedlings soaking up water.  

And then just like my seedlings,  after days and weeks of patiently watering the dormant soil, 

  "Something popped up, just as we had known that it would" quote from-  The Carrot Seed.  

 I took out a level one book from Aunt Kristie and low and behold, our girl is a reader.

In celebration we made a special trip to the library to celebrate with her own library card.

...and tonight we will eat green eggs and ham after she finishes that book.

Here she is with her triumphant first book, funnily reading just like Mommy used to at the library, upside down.

So the sun is out at our house in the form of Mommy and Daddy's praise, We praise her because she doesn't think she is a good reader yet.  But with enough encouraging sunshine shining down and more watering of the words she will.  

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"- Hebrews 11:1

Pendant Curtians

I was trying to find a place to store the pendant banner I crafted to decorate for family birthdays.
I couldn't think of a place that I would be likely to remember.  Out of sight out of mind.
Then I found a place in plain sight;

Spring colors! -and red of course, it's my favorite color of all.

The fabric for the pendants are from scraps I've collected from Schoolhouse fabrics old napkins and such.  I had the chair slipcovered a couple years ago.  The hand embroidered pillow is from Goodwill in Pulaski (25. cents!).  And the quilt is from my mom {>

 What do you think?  I may change the curtains again before spring gets here.

in between chasing two year olds of course :)

orange-dark-chocolate coffee and fresh wheat bread

My breakfast sang this morning.  I felt like I was in a really good coffee shop and bakery, but I was at home.  Homemade coffee creamer and wheat bread made my morning quiet time a little more divine.

Dark Chocolate Coffee Creamer

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups water
• 3 cups sugar
• 1 1/2 cups Dark Dutch-processed cocoa
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons light corn syrup
• (I added 1/2 tsp of orange extract)
• Non-dairy coffee creamer

Directions

In a small pot, bring water and sugar to a boil and whisk in cocoa, vanilla, salt, and corn syrup and 1/ tsp any flavorings you would like to add (raspberry, orange, mint extracts). Whisk until all of the solids have dissolved. Reduce sauce until slightly thickened.  Pour into bottle until it is half full.  A old plastic liquid creamer bottle works great.  I filled the bottle the rest of the way with unflavored non-dairy coffee creamer.  I filled up three of these, put one in the refrigerator where it should keep for at least two weeks.  The other two I put in the freezer.  This coffee creamer also makes a great gift.  

You can see the recipe I used for wheat bread in the ingredients picture.  Here is the recipe I used.  I tried White-wheat flour and had good results.  

 It felt good to see my made-from-scratch bread rise in the oven. The fresh-baked aroma and yummy bread defiantly blessed my family today. I hope you are blessed too!

 The book pictured is an all time favorite; Walking on Water; Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeline LeEngle

eight arms to hold you

disclaimer; I stole this blog title from Veruca Salt's album title
Dorathea and I had a Valentines day party with our friends at the pool today.  I pretended to be an octopus and catch her for a Valentine hug.

Ted teases The kids that we are having octopus for dinner.  And tonight when they came to dinner this was waiting for them;

Hot dog Octopus in an underwater broccoli forest.  Her reaction;

And if that weren't enough  then came dessert;

marshmallow puppies and kitties

Not the most nutritious meal, but fun was had by all.

cleaning, and dying, and growing, and loving.

I keep praying about my purpose at this point in my life.  Is it time to work on my dreams of illustrating yet?  Should I start a Masters in art program?  What about the books I want to finish?  I've been peppering God with these questions since the New Year.  

The answer?  Clean your house.  It would not have been my first choice.  Really God?  

I know it must be God talking because I would never think of such a crazy thing.  In my journal I write these words;

 "Clean your home as if you are polishing your soul.  Look for where God is in your house and work with him there.  "He is faithful to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness".  Sweep away the anxiety and the guilt.  Cleanse your lips of complaining and discontentment. Pour yourself into your children. Order your home in this way and your free time will bear more fruit."

So here I am these last couple weeks trying to clean a thing as I thank God for it too.  This is not coming naturally.  Most of the time I don't see the progress, even though other people seem too.  Guests and Ted encourage me, but they only see a fraction of the work I'm doing.  The bulk of the work is on my heart.  "But God I don't want to do the laundry", "Allison, I am there so if you join me doing laundry now you will be much happier there than reading that magazine and plotting your next project. and besides, the project won't be as fruitful if you don't follow me".  

Today as I wiped the bathroom floor I thought, "I hate this blue cardboard floor!, It makes everything look dirtier, not that I'm very good at cleaning it and God, could you please do something about the hole in the shower that is covered in ductape?"  Then I stopped myself.  whoa!  "Thank you God for this bathroom and the floor that has never leaked and for all the hot showers and baths I've had here".  

So my days seem to become ordered this way;  Wake up, get dressed, wipe down sink and toilet, feed kids, unload or load dishes, do a load of laundry, wash dry fold and put away one load of laundry.  Then if their is time work on one spot to clean or one project to do.  I have scrubbed baseboards with a toothbrush.  I have cleaned the basement.  I have scrubbed crayon off 6 walls and every night I try to do all the dishes in the sink and shine and dry it and clean the clothes in my room.

The funny thing is in the evenings after the kids go to bed and on the one afternoon a week I take 3 hrs to do some creative work, I'm getting more done.  Not books just yet, although I might pull some out to polish off soon. 

 More like this;

A valentine for Dorathea's Valentine party next week.  It says, "A friend Loves at all times proverbs 17:17" under the watch.  The watch is filled with candy and D cut and suck the hearts on herself.

and this;

This poster is from a series I'm working on for church.

I was reading a magazine (on my downtime, I promise) on gardening and learned that the best start for seeds is in sterile soil.  The best soil has been heated to a temperature that kills all the bacteria in it.  I started some seedlings this morning and used clean containers as the article recommended, and sterile soil.
I wonder if God is instructing me on cleaning my home to be this sterile soil for my children (and Ted and I) to grow in.

In the past two weeks I've already seen a change in them.  Dorathea, on top of doing chores she's asked to do has become accustomed to cleaning her room or toys before she can do special things like watch tv.  Jonathan (almost 2) has begun to clean up after himself, clears his own plate from the table, and helps me fill the dishwasher with silverware.  Dorathea and I start real homeschooling this coming Fall and I'm hoping this cleaning will ready us somehow for that adventure.

So I'm working at dying to myself over here.  I'm making the bacteria die from my intense scrubbing!  The ungratefulness in my heart is going with it!

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." 25“He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. 26“If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him." John 12:24

Who knew Jesus did laundry?