Sometimes I get out of my own space to get out of my own head and clean up my mental state by spending time with God. I have looked for these secret spaces since college. I found an attic widow's peak on top of my dorm, and studying in Italy found a couple great window balconies, as well as a few prayer rooms along the way set aside for the very purpose of talking with my beloved.
But can I say that being a Mom and wife that it seems more important, immediate, and so very needed to occasionally run away from home? The beautiful three I so often pour into often show me I am in need of exorcising personal demons. So this day I took a ride around the corner to a church with an open door policy for their chapel and hidden garden (God bless them!)
First I planted myself here;
Then I dare to draw a little closer to the alter
And I lay here;
As I unload the heavy to my ultimate Father I shed a few tears too. Just think someday He will wipe even that one away. I let go of the baggage of who I thought I was; Angry, empty, sad. He sees my efforts to love them so much I change into love in the process. I turn to the face of Jesus, and I give up my ugly view of myself and those I am working to love. I am given a glimpse of myself through his eyes; Holy Holy Holy am I! His light shines in me golden.
I hop on my bike and ride home better for my time here.
This song has been in my head. When I find it at home I laugh as I watch the artist's video and she takes the same ride to a little chapel on her bike. He truly sees me :)
