A letter to God

Been feeling like my little life of homemaking doesn't matter in the grand scheme.  Staying home with my two, does it really make a big difference? My little projects, crafts and pottery, and decorating, how can they be changing the world?

 Was this whole staying home thing my idea- or yours?

I feel like my mind is shrinking lately.  Can you cheer me on a little louder Lord?  Send some saints to surround me with encouragement.   I desperately need to hear, "Well done." and "It matters so much more than you can know right now."  How can I turn up the volume on your thoughts and opinions of me?  I know they are all good, I want to really know more.

I hear this song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK1KkqNMunk by sara groves

and this verse, ""The eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye is clear, your whole body also is full of light; but when it is bad, your body also is full of darkness." -Luke 11:34

So show me how to clean what is covering my eyes so I can see everything illuminated, my home and corner of the world, and especially myself.  

Thank you- Allison

I've been feeling the empty places lately.  The places I've longed for someone to stand up and cheer me on.  The places were I want to feel beautiful and fulfilled, you know as a mom, homemaker, friend, artist, daughter.  God sees me that way, Beautiful and Fulfilled, but I've been feeling more like a grey moth, common and unremarkable. 

I was praying for the little Sunday morning kids last night and God gave me this picture for myself.  My heart was a little birdcage filled with frantic birds trying to get out.  It was exactly what I've been feeling, a fluttering panic in my heart.  Like a flock of wild doves caught in a cage.  Each pulse of delicate wing asking   Why am I trapped in this small place?  Where is my blue sky?  Their song becomes clipped and frantic jumble.  Wings beating against the bars ache to fulfill their purpose and instead make an ugly jumble of striving.

God said, "Those birds are your cares.  You have forgotten to let them go."  So I smiled and took each one from the cage into my hand and freed it.  They each flew to God.  My Cares are not for me to hold as pets, but for releasing to God, He waits to care of each precious one.  

1st Peter5: 7"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."